Tommy the Cruise Ship Dancer

by Ty Clancey

Tommy was a cruise ship dancer. He taught cha-cha aboard the Mona Lisa- an ocean liner who ferried super-rich ex-pats between Hong Kong and Naples. And although every night scores of patrons followed Tommy back to his cabin for extracurricular mambo lessons, none of them could satisfy what he so longs for~

You see, Tommy was also a raging masochist.

But tonight is a lucky night for Tommy. The other guests aboard the ship might not count themselves so lucky, because Somali pirates had boarded the ship an hour earlier and taken control of the bridge.

Still, Tommy was in good hands as far as he was concerned. His cheeks bled sweetly between the vice-like claws of a female pirate, known as Lalun. Her dark braided locks flew wildly in the ocean breeze, lightly whipping Tommy's face and giving off a coconut scent. Her deep-set mocha eyes bore into Tommy's with a contempt so odious that Tommy knew she was capable of giving him serious damage. His heart skipped beats, his erection became more prominent. So prominent in fact, that it brushed against her leg, and she swiftly brought her knee up into his testicles. Tommy immediately started salivating.

A gamy pirate behind Lalun was cock-blocking Tommy, though. "Leave him, he is but an entertainer," he growled at Lalun, "he has nothing for us." Lalun considered this. She eyeballed Tommy's frilly, silky shirt, his shiny white tap shoes. She withdrew her grip and back-handed him across the face. Blood rushed quickly to Tommy's temple and escaped through the gash created by her massive ring. He fell to the deck.

"Wait!" Tommy called out. Lalun and the gamy pirate turned, half-way up the stairs. Tommy wiped the blood from his eyes, "I know where the richest man on the boat is staying..." Lalun and the gamy pirate considered this. She descended the stairs and strode up to Tommy kicking him in the side. "If this is not so," she asserted, "you will pay dearly." Tommy smiled as she huffed away.

Tommy led them to the forward upper deck where other pirates had begun ransacking rooms. Further through the labyrinth of luxury suites, they came to a door adorned with many gold-leaf anchors. "Here," Tommy motioned to the door, "you'll find a safe in here, filled with every jewel imaginable."

The gamy pirate kicked open the door. Lalun punched Tommy in the mouth and threw him through the doorway by his lapel. Inside, Sir Attenburough and his wife huddled in the corner. They looked wildly from the pirates to Tommy and back. "They would like the jewels Sir Attenborough," Tommy smiled through bleeding gums.

"But Tommy!" Sir Attenburough exclaimed, "I lost everything last night in the casino, you were with me! You told me to double-down!"

"Ah, yes," Tommy lied, "now I remember. That was...mighty foolish of me." Lalun marched over to Tommy, withdrew her machete and sliced off Tommy's ring finger at the second knuckle. Blood raged from the open wound.

The room lurched to the side, sending everyone against the port-side wall. Tommy scurried across the carpet, found his severed ring finger rolling toward the head and popped it in his mouth, savoring the sweet, silvery taste of his own meat and blood.

"What is going on?!" exclaimed the gamy pirate.

"Jalepo is in charge of manning the wheel tonight," Lalun explained, "he is blind as shit."

The boat lurched once more, sending the gamy pirate head-first into the wall. He regained himself, rubbing his head and steaming from his ears. He looked down and saw Tommy still savoring the last taste of his own finger and lunged with his machete. But suddenly the ship lurched again crashing against an immovable object, sending the gamy pirate into the forward wall, lampooning himself on his own machete.

The boat started sinking. Tommy grabbed Lalun and made way for the aft deck. On the way he snatched a raft from the pool and flung it overboard. Tommy whisked Lalun up into his arms, and just as he dropped her into the ocean below she slapped him viciously. Tommy leapt over the railing and fell into the dark sea just as the ship sunk beneath it.

That night, on the pool raft, Tommy and Lalun made sweet dangerous love beneath the moonlight. She stabbed him repeatedly in the shoulder with her machete, and severed three of his toes when he climaxed.

As the sun came up the next morning, a ragged dingy motored up to the raft. It was the getaway boat driver, and he motioned for Lalun to get into the boat. Tommy tried to follow, but she kicked him back onto the raft. The dingy sped away toward the horizon.

Tommy lay back and finally confronted a pain he found little pleasure in - the pain of a broken heart.

But he did have the pleasure of roasting away beneath the white hot ocean sun.